With Thanksgiving and Black Friday (I work in retail), I haven't had more than a few moments to myself. So I sadly did not have time to watch movies this week to review. So sadly, no review this week. This coming week, though, I should have something interesting. I'm hoping to find time to go see Happy Feet 2. That will fit riiiight in with the movies I've reviewed so far!
I hope everyone had a great holiday and that none of you are suffering from the end of semester crunch!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Great Lessons are Often Found in Defeat
http://www.onlinewatchfree.net/
One of my many obsessions is Japenese music. I watch a lot of Anime's and Japenese movies and seem to fall in love with the music as much as the twisted and often bizarre ideas found in the plots. My biggest Japanese obessions is an artist named Gackt. The most beautiful man in Japan. Seriously, look him up...he's too damn pretty for his own good. *Drool* So when I saw he was going to costar in a movie with a list of relatively big name American actors (Woody Harrelson, Demi Moore, Josh Hartnett, and Ron Pearlman), intrigued could not begin to name the emotions stirring within me. It was said to release in theaterS back in September...lies. One theater...in NY...for like a week. Luckily a month later it released on Amazon.com and I preordered it, because again, I'm that big of a geek.
Bunraku. An American film, created by a guy who only had two other movies under his belt. How the HELL did he get such a big name cast??? His other two movies? "Holly" and "?!"...seriously, that's the name..."?!" I've never heard of them. But apparently Demi and Woody had, and enjoyed "Holly" enough to sign on. Anyway, the plot: A drifter, a "samurai", and a bartender all have different motives, but join together to fight a common enemy.
Things I liked:
1. Gackt. Love him. He's quite the amazing fighter and a decent actor. I was pleasantly suprised.
2. Art Style. The entire movie is a cross between a pop-up book, a stage production, and a comic book. It's beautifully done, super creative, and I couldn't keep my gasps of "Oooo"s and "Aaaah"s to myself.
3. Fight Scenes. The fight scenes and the Art makes this movie. I'm extremely impressed by the choreography. The one henchman, Killer 2, practically dances as he slides in between guys, bashing their heads in. So many American movies lack that grace in the fight scenes, this one does it so beautifully.
Things I didnt like:
1. The story. It was cliche and not fleshed out enough. There was a lot of potential there but for a 2 hour movie I feel like the story was the least of my concerns.
2. The woodsman. It's upsetting to say because I love Ron Pearlman, but everytime the woodsman was on screen, I started falling asleep. I don't know if it's just because his voice was so soothing or if because his monologues were waaaaaaay too long, but I definitely almost nodded off.
3. Demi Moore's character. I could call her by her name, but I doubt anyone would care enough to remember the characters name outside of "woodsman's whore". Her character added nothing except motive for another character. We didn't physically need her in the movie for that.
Overall it's a visually appealing movie. The story was lacking but if you are a fan of movies that are simply enjoying to just watch, you should check this out. Just don't expect shakespearan writing going on here.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Worst Movies Ever
I had my cousin's wedding this past Friday night, so we didn't have movie night. But early in the week my boyfriend and I watched a movie that I was going to use. Then I decided to switch it up a bit. The movie was so bad I decided to lump it with two other movies and make this my top three list of worst movies ever.
First I'll start with "Plan 9 From Outer Space" (1959) by Ed Wood. It's so cheesey it's amusing. Ifyou've never seen it, don't worry about it. Watch "Ed Wood" by Tim Burton instead. It explains everything and is spot on with the pokes and prods at the original movie.
Things that make this movie bad:
1. Strings. You can see the strings on everything. It's amazing.
2. Acting. Soooo cheesey.
3. Pacing. I dare say this is even slower than Alien and The Thing rolled into one.
Secondly we have "Bloodrayne: The Third Reich" (2010) from Uwe Boll. We randomly decided to turn on it on this past week (giving me the idea for this blog). Let me just say, it was the worst idea I think we have ever had. The other two movies discussed here I was warned about prior so I went in expecting something bad. This just angered me, as you will soon see.
Things that made me want to cry:
1. Acting. If you can call it that. Woooooorst acting I have ever seen in a movie. That is saying a lot. I've seen a lot of movies. I've seen a lot of bad movies. This tops them all. This movie takes place in Germany, though you wouldn't know it if they hadn't had a very tedious opening scene to show the Nazi's running rampant. No one has an accent, well one guy did ATTEMPT to do an accent but he slips in and out of it and it doesn't have any real origin. I know I say "acting" as a problem with all the movies but what made this bad was they were TRYING.
3. Lesbian sex scene. No, I'm not appalled because I'm female and blah blah blah, a hot naked girl is a hot naked girl. None here...well, she's mildly attractive but something about these scene is just cringe worthy. Seriously, it was almost painful to watch. It was a full on sex scene with full on naked women going at it. It's bad when my boyfriend was even cringing.
4. Costuming. The vampires look like a bunch of 12 year old wannabe goth mallrats that should be hanging out in an arcade. Such a mess.
5. Fight Scenes. Remember when you were a kid and you would pick up sticks and start "sword fighting" with your friends? Remember how you would aim to hit each others stick instead of actually trying to hit each other? Well apparently that's how Rayne fights. As a kid, you probably could have choreographed and performed better fight scenes.
6. Natassia Malthe. This actress has such an irritating and childish sounding voice. She moves soooo akwardly. She can't act. She's got nothing going for her.
If I don't stop myself now I will just keep on going. For those of you who don't know, Bloodrayne is a video game. I, more than most, understand that ALL VIDEO GAME BASED MOVIES ARE TERRIBLE IN THEIR OWN WAY, but this was the third movie in the series and why do people keep giving this man movie to make more terrible movies??
Lastly, every so often we decide to watch a bad movie for movie night and we take suggestions. Someone told us to watch "The Room" (2003). After sitting through it three times now, I understand why they did. Not to say I didn't get that it was hands down the worst movie ever, but I now realize why they would inflict such pain upon another person. The only good thing to come out of that movie: watching everyone elses reaction to the movie as they realize that this was a serious attempt at making a movie!!
Things that make this one my number one terrible movie of all time:
1. Hello, Goodbye? Does no one in this movie know how to enter into a room or leave a room in a coherent manner? No? Didn't think so. People just come and go as they please and it makes no sense at all.
2. Sex Scene(s?). The (s?) is because there were two sex scenes...that were the same scene. And it was traumatizing both times. The Tommy Wiseau (who is the lead actor, director, producer, and all around idiot) is not an attractive man. NOTHING about him is attractive (see above). That includes his naked body. *gag* Even thinking back on it now I think I'm going to be sick. And you are forced to watch it TWICE.
3. The football. If you ever watch this movie, you have to do it on dvd and watch the extras. Tommy Wiseau has an interview where he addresses the need for a football in just about every scene. The use of the football makes no sense at all, and his explination makes even less sense. Watch it and you will understand. You don't even need to watch the movie, just watch the interview.
4. Story? I want to believe that there was supposed to be one, but I can't figure it out. Watch the movie. Then go to newgrounds.com and play the game. Whoever made the game found a way to make the moviemake sense. Movie = garbage, game = pure genius.
5. Acting? Nope, none here.
So I would like to let you know I used IMDB to keep my names and dates straight and whatnut. All three of these movies average about a 3.1 out of 10. Just proves I'm not lying about how bad these movies are! If you ever want to make your friends cringe check out "The Room". But be forwarned, it is hands down the worst movie ever, but it makes for great conversation!
First I'll start with "Plan 9 From Outer Space" (1959) by Ed Wood. It's so cheesey it's amusing. Ifyou've never seen it, don't worry about it. Watch "Ed Wood" by Tim Burton instead. It explains everything and is spot on with the pokes and prods at the original movie.
Things that make this movie bad:
1. Strings. You can see the strings on everything. It's amazing.
2. Acting. Soooo cheesey.
3. Pacing. I dare say this is even slower than Alien and The Thing rolled into one.
Secondly we have "Bloodrayne: The Third Reich" (2010) from Uwe Boll. We randomly decided to turn on it on this past week (giving me the idea for this blog). Let me just say, it was the worst idea I think we have ever had. The other two movies discussed here I was warned about prior so I went in expecting something bad. This just angered me, as you will soon see.
Things that made me want to cry:
1. Acting. If you can call it that. Woooooorst acting I have ever seen in a movie. That is saying a lot. I've seen a lot of movies. I've seen a lot of bad movies. This tops them all. This movie takes place in Germany, though you wouldn't know it if they hadn't had a very tedious opening scene to show the Nazi's running rampant. No one has an accent, well one guy did ATTEMPT to do an accent but he slips in and out of it and it doesn't have any real origin. I know I say "acting" as a problem with all the movies but what made this bad was they were TRYING.
3. Lesbian sex scene. No, I'm not appalled because I'm female and blah blah blah, a hot naked girl is a hot naked girl. None here...well, she's mildly attractive but something about these scene is just cringe worthy. Seriously, it was almost painful to watch. It was a full on sex scene with full on naked women going at it. It's bad when my boyfriend was even cringing.
4. Costuming. The vampires look like a bunch of 12 year old wannabe goth mallrats that should be hanging out in an arcade. Such a mess.
5. Fight Scenes. Remember when you were a kid and you would pick up sticks and start "sword fighting" with your friends? Remember how you would aim to hit each others stick instead of actually trying to hit each other? Well apparently that's how Rayne fights. As a kid, you probably could have choreographed and performed better fight scenes.
6. Natassia Malthe. This actress has such an irritating and childish sounding voice. She moves soooo akwardly. She can't act. She's got nothing going for her.
If I don't stop myself now I will just keep on going. For those of you who don't know, Bloodrayne is a video game. I, more than most, understand that ALL VIDEO GAME BASED MOVIES ARE TERRIBLE IN THEIR OWN WAY, but this was the third movie in the series and why do people keep giving this man movie to make more terrible movies??
Lastly, every so often we decide to watch a bad movie for movie night and we take suggestions. Someone told us to watch "The Room" (2003). After sitting through it three times now, I understand why they did. Not to say I didn't get that it was hands down the worst movie ever, but I now realize why they would inflict such pain upon another person. The only good thing to come out of that movie: watching everyone elses reaction to the movie as they realize that this was a serious attempt at making a movie!!
Things that make this one my number one terrible movie of all time:
1. Hello, Goodbye? Does no one in this movie know how to enter into a room or leave a room in a coherent manner? No? Didn't think so. People just come and go as they please and it makes no sense at all.
2. Sex Scene(s?). The (s?) is because there were two sex scenes...that were the same scene. And it was traumatizing both times. The Tommy Wiseau (who is the lead actor, director, producer, and all around idiot) is not an attractive man. NOTHING about him is attractive (see above). That includes his naked body. *gag* Even thinking back on it now I think I'm going to be sick. And you are forced to watch it TWICE.
3. The football. If you ever watch this movie, you have to do it on dvd and watch the extras. Tommy Wiseau has an interview where he addresses the need for a football in just about every scene. The use of the football makes no sense at all, and his explination makes even less sense. Watch it and you will understand. You don't even need to watch the movie, just watch the interview.
4. Story? I want to believe that there was supposed to be one, but I can't figure it out. Watch the movie. Then go to newgrounds.com and play the game. Whoever made the game found a way to make the moviemake sense. Movie = garbage, game = pure genius.
5. Acting? Nope, none here.
So I would like to let you know I used IMDB to keep my names and dates straight and whatnut. All three of these movies average about a 3.1 out of 10. Just proves I'm not lying about how bad these movies are! If you ever want to make your friends cringe check out "The Room". But be forwarned, it is hands down the worst movie ever, but it makes for great conversation!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
One Roll to Rule Them All
http://www.examiner.com/
This week we watched "The Gamers: Dorkness Rising". About a year ago, my boyfriend and I decided to listen to Netflix's suggestion and gave this movie a shot. This was one of the very few times that Netflix was spot on. In this movie, a group of gamers (Dungeons and Dragons) are trying to get through a new campaign written by their Dungeon Master. But with the gamers being slightly too distracted and unable to think outside the box, they are getting nowhere fast and need to add a new player (*gasp* a female!) and learn to approach things differently. Sounds geeky to the max, right? Oh it is.
Things I like:
1) The humor. It pokes fun at itself while showing you why people find tabletop RPGs like Dungeons and Dragons appealing. I know I'm a geek, but even I thought this was going to be too much geek for me to handle. I was pleasantly suprised when I spent the entire movie cracking up.
2) Spoof reel in the credits. While the credits roll, they have all of the noteable spoofs running through. As funny as the movie is, the spoofs are amaaazing.They also have little things hidden in the credits for those who pay attention.
3) The story. What can I say? I just really enjoy this movie.
Things I didn't like:
1) Costuming. I actually think the only costume I had a problem with was on the Sorceress. Jennifer Page is pretty attractive, but that outfit made her look terrible. I know in the concept art (they kind of show you the concept art mid movie) it looked like a brilliant idea. But I figure I needed to note the only annoyance in the movie.
This is one of those movies that I just simply enjoyed. I've been wracking my brain to figure out exactly what it is I like, and I've been coming up short. Sometimes you are just drawn to things. If you are a fan of all things geeky, then this movie is a must watch.
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